We have to admit that we’ve fought battles after battles during 2020. It was tough for our mental, physical, and spiritual health. We learned to find things and resources to keep us sane while staying at home, including reading and listening to inspiring stories of people who rose above their challenges.

I came across a podcast entitled Project Loving Myself – a well-being podcast that shares stories about self-love, mental fortitude, and self-discovery hosted by life designer, theta-healer well-being coach Sanaiyah Gurnamal. Sanaiyah’s interviews with Philippine celebrities helps share inspirational stories about self-love. An interview with Ellen Adarna struck me the most. 

We know Ellen Adarna as the woman who graced many sexy publications. Her daring shots landed on the covers of our country’s most popular magazines. 

Her acting career started in 2010 and she’s been ranked by FHM as one of the Philippines sexiest from 2011 to 2017. In November 2017, the celebrity confirmed that she’s pregnant with John Lloyd Cruz’s son. Soon after giving birth, she admitted that she was diagnosed with three mental health disorders- depression, anxiety, and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PSTD).  According to her, she went into a downward spiral, but she knew she needed to step back and find a better way to heal herself.

“I realized that I wasn’t happy anymore with my job.  I didn’t see myself doing it for a long time. I wasn’t happy then all of a sudden. I got pregnant. My pregnancy was really hard. I had to leave showbiz because of a difficult pregnancy, plus relationships with other people weren’t. so good. Just not in a good state. Three weeks before I gave birth, my father died. With all of that combined, I went into a downward spiral. The postpartum, the hormones, it is really something you can’t control. I really lost it. “

The sudden events that surfaced in her life brought her to a mental breakdown. She talked about how, as a younger Ellen, knew herself very well. “I was always happy and confident. I trusted myself. I knew what I was capable of. Right after I gave birth, I didn’t know what happened to me. I didn’t know who I was.” 

 Ellen said that the medicines weren’t helping, and she insisted that she didn’t want to live her life like that. She decided to go to to Bali, Indonesia, for Mental Health Training that lasted for two weeks.

“I was a different person. If I think about it, two weeks ago. I was this. I was lost. And then after that 2 weeks, I was brand new. So it was like a paradigm shift, like everything just changed. My mindset changed, my rituals – I had rituals. Everything, everything changed.” – Ellen Adarna. 

Through her Instagram, she showed us snippets of what went of her Mental Training. Some were surprised, but many were inspired and admired Ellen after this revelation and for what she did for herself.

She says that her biggest lesson is “That everything is just passing. I really thought I was gonna be stuck there forever. My mental health training was 2 weeks of letting everything pass. ‘To embrace the dark as much as you embrace the light,’ it’s in the dark that you get polished, that you learn.” 

Battling Mental Health and becoming an advocate for mental health gave her a new meaning of life. It was from depression to 101% true and happy self.   

For someone who truly accepts that one needs help, and one needs healing is something so empowering. That being diagnosed with Mental Health issues is a serious matter – just as serious as our physical health is and Ellen Adarna showed us that loving yourself isn’t a selfish thing to do. It’s when you love yourself enough that you pull yourself out of a situation and look for better ways to live life for yourself and for the people that genuinely love and value you. 

This podcast episode is the perfect episode if you’re a woman looking for inspiration, motivation, and change. It will make you realize that mental health is a serious matter, and we should cut the stigma, seek help, and be kind to people who are fighting battles we know nothing about. And as Sanaiyah says it “the most important relationship you will ever have is the relationship you have with yourself.”

Listen to the full podcast episode here: